Greetings loyal VanBun readers!  It’s been a minute since my last post; here’s what I’ve been up to:

• Preparing to move to Spain, where I will be living for at least 9 months.
• Going on a few local adventures in the van.
• Spending time with friends and family since I won’t see most of them for awhile.
• Taking a family vacation in Tahoe.
• Going to BURNING MAN.

 

What is Burning Man?

I find that it’s very difficult to describe Burning Man to someone that’s never heard of it.  It is essentially camping in a extremely inhospitable desert with 60,000 other people.  There is also a lot of interactive art pieces, wild parties, interesting people and hippies.  Read the wikipedia article for more info.   If you’ve read articles or looked at pictures on the internet, you may may have heard that Burning Man:

• is no longer cool,
• has gone ‘corporate’ or has ‘sold out’
• has been ruined by wealthy technocrats
• has been ruined by hippies
• is dominated by attractive white people
• is terrible for the environment
• is an excuse to party nonstop in the desert

Well, all of those elements are present at Burning Man but it is so much more than that.  Just like any other cultural event, there are a lot of naysayers – people who claim “it was better 10 years ago and now it sucks”.  Well, people have been saying that since the event started.  The range of experiences at Burning Man is so infinite that it cannot be encapsulated in a pithy quote or simple overgeneralization.

Why do I go?

I’ve always been intrigued by Burning Man.  The first time I heard about it was in 2006 when my therapist had a moment of exasperation in trying to push me outside my comfort zone and said “hell, go to Burning man!”.  In retrospect, it would have been a bit of an extreme jump outside my comfort zone and I’m not sure I could have handled it.  Anyway, since then, it has always been on my radar, especially in the last 5 years or so when I kept hearing about it from friends living in the Bay Area.  It sounded like such a unique event, with creative people, music, community and experiences.  Also, in the past couple of years I’ve grown to immensely enjoy electronic music, which is a big part of the event as well (although it’s definitely NOT a music festival).  I’m a big fan of camping, taking adventures and traveling; all of these interests dovetailed nicely with going to Burning Man.

Last year, I was finally able to go.  My brother and my buddy Vadim were also going, so it made it easier to make the leap.  I had a very challenging time last year; I had just had hip surgery and it was extremely difficult for me to get around; my hip hurt a lot, I didn’t have a bike and I could barely sleep.  I had some moments of pure misery and depression, but I also had some wonderful moments where I was able to overcome the pain and immensely enjoy the experience.  When it was all over, I was left with a strong yearning for more Burning Man; I felt like I barely scratched the surface.  I knew I would go back.

Expectations

When I decided to live in a van, I knew that it would fit nicely with my plan to go to Burning Man.  Last year was my first time, and I stayed in a tent.  It was complete chaos; dust and things everywhere, and impossible to sleep due to an uncomfortable mat and constant techno music.  The van would be a nice sleeping upgrade and would allow me to be self reliant by providing transportation to the event.  Everything fell into place perfectly; I was lucky enough to get a ticket in the general sale and I had the van, the timing was perfect to go to Burning Man right before Spain.  I decided to join a camp called ‘Mobility Camp’; last year they helped me with rides and tours on the playa (when I could barely walk due to hip pain) and I was very excited to join them and help out this year.

People who go to Burning Man talk about ‘intentions’.  What do you intend to get out of your Burning Man experience?  Oftentimes, people go to Burning Man for the following reasons:

• To party their ass off
• Meet new and interesting people
• Create art
• Express themselves radically
• Ride around on a bicycle at night and stare at shiny things

I would say that my intentions were not super clear.  I went last year and my intentions were simply to ‘experience burning man’ and see what it’s all about.  This year, I had an idea about what Burning Man is and felt more confident about what to expect.  Although I had more confidence, I felt like this year would be a more fulsome Burning Man experience; I brought my bike, my hip was no longer in pain and I could finally experience all that Burning Man had to offer.

Initial Experiences

I left the Bay Area to go on a family vacation in Lake Tahoe and would head to Burning Man when Tahoe was over.  The vacation was nice and relaxing; a great chance to spend time with family and relax before the chaos of Burning Man and the new frontier of Spain.  We stayed in the same cabin we went to as children so it was definitely a nostalgic overload.

After Tahoe, I drove to my brother’s apartment in Reno to do last minute preparations for Burning Man.  At this point, excitement had reached a fever pitch.  My brother and I felt like it was the night before Christmas in the days leading up to the event.  We excitedly discussed plans, expectations, anxieties, etc.  I’ve spent a fair amount of time living out of my van and being entirely self-sufficient; it was excellent training for Burning Man (although nothing but the event itself can fully prepare you for it).  I felt confident, excited and nervous for my first Van Burn experience.

I planned to leave at 3AM from Reno on Monday to beat the traffic and arrive at sunrise.  Everything went according to plan; there was no traffic and as I pulled past the greeters and enjoyed the epic sunrise, my phone buzzed, alerting me to my calendar event ‘arrive at Burning Man’.  Everything was going exactly to plan!

I pulled into Mobility Camp and met a friendly gentleman named Larry (appeared to be in his 50’s or 60’s), who was also enjoying the sunrise.  Turns out, he was at first Burning Man at Black Rock Desert.  Wow, I thought everyone here was a 20-something software engineer or billionaire CEO from Silicon Valley!  Internet, you lied to me.

As the sun came up, I met more people from my camp.  Everyone was super friendly and welcoming.  I was a bit anxious about joining; I didn’t know anyone – I simply emailed , explaining that Mobility Camp helped me a lot last year and that I would love to be a part of it this year.  I was instantly welcomed by the coordinator; the ‘radical inclusion’ principle of Burning Man is very real; anyone who wants to join is welcomed to.

Mobility Camp is very eclectic.  The ages ranged from early 20’s to late 70’s.  There were virgin burners, 2nd/3rd years and grizzled veterans.  There was also a wide range of mobility; from able-bodied to wheelchairs/crutches to prosthetic limbs.  Despite everyone’s differences, people were extremely friendly and welcoming.

The first day was spent simply acclimating to the harsh desert environment.  I drank a ton of water, explored center camp by foot and took a few short bike rides.  I felt exhausted, overwhelmed and extremely thirsty; but this is normal for the first 24 hours at Burning Man.

After a mellow day of acclimation and getting to know my camp-mates, I ventured out into the playa for a evening bike ride.  ‘The Playa’ is the massive open space away from where people camp.  The playa at night is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.  Imagine a psychadelic carnival in the middle of the desert – then multiply it by 360 and you have Burning Man at night.  It’s literally a carnival in every single direction you look.  Burners zoom around on bicycles, illuminated by LED lights.   Mutant vehicles (such as a two-story sheep with lazer eyes and massive speakers blasting techno) roam the desert, swallowing up burners and taking them for electronic music fueled cruises through the desert.  You can also find huge interactive art installations and mind-bogglingly complex structures (many of which will be burned to dust by the end of the week).  It’s an extremely dizzying and overwhelming experience.  A nighttime adventure on the playa can consist of dancing at a sound camp, riding mutant vehicles through the desert, playing on a giant interactive art sculpture, staring at synchronized lights that blast through concentric rings, or just hanging out by the trash fence (the end of the world of burning man) and gazing at the stars.  There’s an infinite number of experiences and interactions that you can have a Burning Man; that’s why it’s so hard to encapsulate with a generic description or to answer the question ‘how was Burning Man’.

Biking through the playa was an amazing experience.  Last year, I didn’t have a bike, so it was difficult to explore.  This year, I brought my beloved Surly, which is a beast of a bike; built to take on camping tours.  It’s solid steel but also very fast.  It faired quite well out on the playa.  I felt faster and more skilled than 99% of the other bikers (most people had shitty cruisers and appeared that they had only learned to ride a bike a few days before Burning Man).  As I cruised through the open playa at top speeds, I smugly thought to myself how I was more prepared and “seasoned” than other burners.  I observed large groups of younger burners, huddled together like packs of sheep, unsure of what to do next.  “Such sheep!  Can’t you think for yourselves”, I muttered to myself.  Other judgements included seeing people wearing the same shitty scarf from Amazon that I brought last year.  “SILLY NOOBS!  I am so much better at Burning Man than they are”, I said to  myself as I silently felt superior to them.  Oh, what hubris I had!  This bubbling of ego and smugness would be fiercely corrected by the Gods of Burning Man in the coming days…

Part of the deal with staying at Mobility Camp was that each person had to work shifts.  Shifts primarily consisted of helping out with the art tour, working at the front desk and signing people up for tours and manning the obstacle course (a course in a wheelchair/crutches, designed to show able-bodied people how challenging it is to navigate a world made for the non-handicapped).  Working these shifts turned out to be one of my most memorable experiences of Burning Man.  I was looking forward to actually contributing something – last year I felt like a tourist who didn’t really add much to the event, except for being an active participant in partying.  Everything at Burning Man exists because of the people.  The entity of ‘Burning Man’ does not provide art, music, food or many services beyond porta-potties, ice and coffee.  All of the crazy art, insane sound camps, fun events and gifted food/drinks are things that are created by the people who attend.  To fully participate in Burning Man, you really need to give something back to the community.  Anyway, I loved working the shifts, especially the front desk.  Mobility Camp is located very close to Center Camp, which is the center of all camping and a place people hang out for coffee and relax.  Therefore, tons of people came by Mobility Camp, signing up for tours, asking random questions or just to say hi.  Everyone was extremely appreciative of the service we provided and it was touching to help Burners experience art, who otherwise would not have been able to make it out on their own.  It felt great to have a purpose, to interact with people, to help people.  The time flew by on my shifts and I immensely enjoyed the experiences.

The shifts provided some much needed structure to my time at Burning Man.  Without specific plans, one can be driven mad by the sheer number of possibilities to experience.  Should I cruise around solo and see what happens?  Should I look for some specific events/workshops in the BM booklet?  Should I chill at camp and drink beers with my campmates and see what happens?  Do I try and meet  up with other friends who are also camping?  Do I stay up all night and dance on Art Cars and watch the sunrise but then sacrifice any quality sleep and be a wreck for the next day (because it’s BM and that’s what you’re supposed to do)?  Your mind is pulled in 100’s of directions.  If you don’t have ADHD before going to Burning Man, you will surely have it when you arrive.  “Ooooh, look at that shiny thing, let’s go over there….oh no, another shiny thing that is making techno music and is blinky with lazars, lets check it out….no, no….let’s go climb on that giant spider that is breathing fire and spinning.  YAAAAAY!”

Sometimes you need to just let go and “see what happens.”  A clear intention and purpose can also be helpful.  The challenge is to balance the two.  For Burning Man (just like in life), there is no “right answer” of how you spend your time or experiences.  In a sense, you have to let go and just let it take its natural path.  For this Burn, I noticed that I had the mindset of trying to recreate positive experiences from previous Burn.  It’s a natural thing to do, but it often does not result in the same experiences.  I realized that I was “forcing” experiences and they weren’t turning out as they did previously.  Sometimes, positive experiences are enjoyable because they are unexpected, serendipitous and organic.  That doesn’t mean experiences cannot be recreated and honed with time; sometimes adding ‘ingredient x’ with ‘friends y’ and ‘music z’ will result in a fantastic time.  Other times, not so much.  It’s a fine line to walk.

As the week progressed, my ADHD was kicking into high gear.  I found myself running around trying to make connections and experiences, but missing what was right in front of me.  In retrospect, it would have been nice to get to know my camp-mates better.  Towards the end of the week, I got to know more and more of them and wish I had invested more time rather than searching for external connections.  It was also challenging to balance getting to know new people and hanging out with friends/family that were also at Burning Man.  There is also a fair amount of external pressure of the expectation to ‘create connections’ – but they simply can’t be forced.  It has to happen organically.  Just like any experience in life, you connect with some people and experiences, but feel completely disconnected from others.  BM can be a wonderful place to deepen existing relationships but it’s also a fantastic place to meet new people and learn about different life experiences, viewpoints and ideas.  In the end, BM is about the people; not about the intoxicants, the party or the art.

In the end, my second Burn was completely different than my first, and nothing like what I expected.   It was wonderful, depressing, surprising, amazing and maddening – many emotions encapsulated in one experience.  I intend to go back next year; Burning Man, I’m not finished with you.

I’ll leave you with some of my favorite pictures and memories from the dusty temporary city in Nevada.